How to Help Your Child Respond and Build Better Friendships

Learn how teaching children to respond, take turns, and adapt their communication can help them build stronger and more comfortable interactions with peers.

Does your child want to make friends but find that interactions with other children often go wrong?

They might freeze and say nothing, talk too much, interrupt, change the topic, speak too loudly, or take over the conversation.

This does not automatically mean your child is “bad socially” or awkward. Often, it means they are still learning how to respond in ways that help other children feel comfortable, included, and connected.

Responding is an important friendship skill. Children need to learn not only what to say, but how to respond in a way that fits the social situation.

What research tells us?

Social communication involves much more than talking. Children also need to learn how to take conversational turns, stay on topic, notice how other people are reacting, and adjust their communication depending on the situation.

Some children may know exactly what they want to say but find it difficult to work out how to say it in a way that fits the group. This can make it harder to keep conversations going or participate comfortably with peers.

Research suggests that children with social communication difficulties can benefit from explicit teaching and supported practice in real social situations. Guided play, adult support, and problem-solving with peers can help children learn how to respond and adapt their communication.

What activities can you do?

You can teach responding through simple social situations and play.

Instead of encouraging your child to simply “go make friends,” teach specific responses they can use. They might ask, “What are you guys making?”, say “Can I help?”, or respond with “That looks really cool” or “Can you show me?”

Teach your child to notice what other children are doing before joining in. A simple strategy is Watch → Wait → Add. Watch what the group is doing, wait for a moment to join, and then add something that matches the conversation or activity.

Practise taking turns and leaving space for other people to speak. Help your child cope when someone has a different idea, wants to lead, or does not want to play in exactly the same way.

Watch the video

In this video, we explore why learning to respond is such an important part of building friendships. We look at how children can learn to take conversational turns, stay connected to the group, share control, and respond in ways that help other children feel seen and included.

We also talk about how these skills are practised in our online Science Experiment and Creativity Social Skills Groups, where tweens and teens across Australia can develop social communication skills while doing experiments, creating projects, sharing ideas, and solving problems together.