My Child Gets Left Out & Ignored: How Social Skills Can Help

Is your child struggling to join in, make friends, or stay connected with other children? Learn how social communication skills can help children notice what is happening around them, think before joining in, and build more positive interactions with peers.

Does your child want friends but often end up being left out, rejected, or finding it difficult to join other children?

Sometimes the missing skill is not talking. It is thinking about what is happening socially before joining in. Children may walk straight into a game, grab a toy, explain their own idea, or stand silently because they are unsure what to do.

Learning to pause and notice what other children are doing can help a child understand the situation and work out how they can join without taking over.

What research tells us?

Social communication involves noticing what is happening around us and adjusting our communication and behaviour to fit the situation.

Some children may find it difficult to understand when to join, what other children are doing, or how to respond when someone has a different idea. They may want to connect with others but struggle to adapt their behaviour during play.

These skills can be taught through explicit teaching, supported practice, and real social experiences. Helping children notice others, think about their options, and practise different ways of joining in can support their confidence and participation with peers.

What activities can you do?

A simple strategy to teach is "Stop. Look. Think."

Stop your body before joining in. Look at what the other children are doing and listen to what they are talking about. Then think about what would fit the situation.

You can practise this during everyday play. If children are building something together, your child might watch first and then ask, “Can I help?” If children are taking turns, they might wait and ask, “Can I have a turn next?”

It is also important to practise flexibility. Help your child learn that other people can have different ideas, choose the game, or take the lead sometimes.

Watch the video

In this video, we explore why thinking is such an important part of making and keeping friends. We look at how children can learn to notice what others are doing, understand the social situation, and think about how they can join in without taking over.

We also talk about how these skills are practised in our online Science Experiment and Creativity Social Skills Groups, where tweens and teens across Australia, including NDIS-supported participants, can build social communication skills through fun experiments, creative activities, shared ideas, and problem-solving.