My Child Has No Friends: Understanding the Social Skills Behind Friendships

Does your child want friends but struggle to join in, connect with other children, or keep friendships going? Learn about the social communication skills that can help children build friendships and feel more confident with peers.

Does your child want friends but seem unsure how to connect with other children?

You might see them standing on the edge of a group, wanting to join in but not knowing how, or coming home saying, “No one played with me today.”

This can be incredibly difficult for parents to watch. But having difficulty making friends is not necessarily about a child's personality or confidence. Sometimes, children simply need more support learning the social communication skills involved in building friendships.

Children need to learn how to notice what is happening around them, think about the social situation, respond appropriately, and manage their emotions when things do not go their way.

What research tells us?

Friendships involve many different social communication skills. Children need to understand what other people may be thinking and feeling, interpret social situations, and adjust how they communicate depending on what is happening.

When these skills are difficult, a child may want friends but still struggle to join a group, keep a conversation going, take turns, or manage different ideas during play.

The good news is that these are skills that can be explicitly taught and practised. With support and opportunities to practise in real social situations, children can develop the skills they need to participate more comfortably with their peers.

What activities can you do?

You can start by helping your child practise noticing what is happening around them.

At the park or during play, pause and ask, “What are they doing?”, “Who is leading?”, or “Is there space for someone to join?” Help your child look at the situation before deciding what to say or do.

You can also practise flexibility during games and everyday activities. Take turns choosing what to play, let someone else lead, and help your child practise staying calm when another person has a different idea.

A simple framework to remember is Notice → Think → Respond → Regulate & Flex. These skills can help children understand social situations, join in, respond to others, and share control during interactions.

Watch the video

In this video, we explore why some children want friends but still struggle to join in, connect with peers, or keep friendships going. We break friendship skills down into four areas: Notice, Think, Respond, and Regulate & Flex.

We also introduce our 1:1 Social Readiness Program and our online Science Experiment and Creativity Social Skills Groups, where children can practise these skills in supported and engaging environments. The groups are available across Australia, including for NDIS-supported participants.