Step 4 — We’re Looking at the Same Thing

Does your child look at things but not share them with you?
Step 4 focuses on shared attention. It is the moment when your child looks at something and then looks back at you. This might seem small, but it is a powerful step in communication.

Shared attention is the beginning of real conversation. It is how children show, “I see this,” and “I want you to see it too.” Before children can use words to share thoughts or ideas, they need to learn how to share focus with another person.

When you and your child are looking at the same thing together, communication becomes meaningful and purposeful.

What research tells us?

Research shows that shared attention, also called joint attention, is one of the strongest predictors of later language development. Children who practise this skill early are more likely to develop more words and stronger communication skills over time.

Shared attention supports understanding, learning, and memory. It allows children to link words to objects and events, and helps them realise that communication is about sharing experiences with others.

This is why shared attention is such an important step before expecting words.

What activities can you do?

Shared attention grows through simple, enjoyable play. Blow bubbles and pop them together, watching and reacting to the same bubbles at the same time. Try balloon volleyball, gently hitting a balloon back and forth and taking turns while staying focused on the same object.

Treasure reveal games also work well. Hide a small toy and enjoy finding it together. Pause, wait, and share the moment when it is revealed. Follow your child’s lead and stay with whatever has captured their interest.

The goal is not to test or question, but to notice, wait, and enjoy the same thing together.

Watch the YouTube Series and Download the Free Guide

In this video, we explain Step 4 of the 10 Steps to Talking and show how shared attention develops through everyday play. Watch below to see practical examples of how to help your child look, notice, and share moments with you.

Next: Step 5 - Let's Play With Items