Step 5 — Let’s Play with Items

Does your child dump toys, throw them, or walk away instead of playing?
That doesn’t mean they aren’t ready to learn. It often means they haven’t learned how play works yet.

Before children can speak, they need to understand how interaction works. That means learning that something starts, something changes, something stops, and someone else is involved. This is the same pattern we use in conversation.

When we teach children how to play with items, we are not trying to get words yet. We are teaching the rhythm of communication. Through simple, repeated play patterns, children begin to understand back-and-forth, waiting, and shared interaction. Once that rhythm makes sense, words have somewhere to land.

Some children do not play with toys yet because play feels confusing, toys do not clearly do anything, or everything moves too fast. Instead of expecting play to appear on its own, we gently teach it.

What research tells us?

Research shows that play is closely linked to language development. Children with stronger play skills tend to use more words and longer sentences over time. This is because play creates natural opportunities for learning how communication works.

Item play helps children understand cause and effect, turn-taking, and anticipation. These skills support attention, learning, and memory. Most importantly, play teaches children that interaction is shared.

When children understand the pattern of interaction through play, they are better prepared to understand words and eventually use them themselves. Communication comes before speech.

What activities can you do?

Start with simple, clear play patterns and repeat them often.

Build a small block tower and say “up… up… up…”. Pause, then knock it down and say “boom”. Repeat this pattern, then pause and wait before knocking it down again. Look at your child and wait for a look, sound, or movement before continuing.

Use containers to teach in and out. Put items in while saying “in… in… in…”. Pause, then tip them out and say “out”. Hold the container and wait before dumping again so your child can respond in their own way.

Use puzzles to practise turn-taking. Take one piece out and say “out”. Pause, then put it back in and say “in”. Hold the piece and wait before placing it again. No questions and no pressure.

Wind-up toys work well for anticipation. Wind the toy, say “ready…”, pause, then say “go” and release. Over time, pause longer and wait for your child to signal they want it to start again.

Use one toy, such as a car, to model “go” and “stop”. Push the car and say “go”, then stop and pause. Wait for any response before starting again. Your child does not need to say the word. Any look, sound, or movement counts.

Watch the YouTube Series and Download the Free Guide

In this video, we walk you through Step 5 of the 10 Steps to Talking and explain why playing with items helps children understand interaction before words appear. You’ll see real examples of how modelling play and pausing can move a child from watching, to joining in, to communicating.

Next: Step 6 - I Know What That Means